This year left me breathless, panting for air. But my kids became my oxygen–the very reason I kept gasping, and eventually, I learned how to swim underwater.

This year kicked me around, beat me up, and left me bruised. But I got up again and feel stronger (this is what I tell myself and I’m starting to believe it) because of the fight it gave me.

This year caused me to wander down old country roads and back to old houses, into familiar forests but also into some very choppy and uncharted waters. I kept going back to the familiar as I learned to get my sea legs.

This year was filled with some of my very worst times but then again, there were the blue eyes looking at me like I was everything and the small still-a- boy hand holding my own. There was the chest of the man with the beard who pulled me close like he has for 23 straight years and the support of parents I needed. There were the kittens born in the woods we rescued and the chicks we raised. There were poems and pictures and good books. There were apples and bees and berries and birds. There were old friends and new friends and kindred spirits, too. There was so much love and joy and holy, holy.

This year was a year of loss and gain, pain and joy, disappointments and triumphs. It was filled with life and life isn’t always easy, but oh, how I’m glad to live it. How very blessed am I.

Thanks for Mothering the Divide with me with this, my hardest year to date.   I have no real resolutions other than to live and live well and to answer the call no matter how very hard that can be.  This year, I shall live.

 

This morning started out how most mornings do: we overslept and the rush was on. My daughter had a fever and was very whiny so it took longer than usual for me to get ready, as I was holding her all morning long. Thankfully, it was gym day today for my son, so I didn’t need to find the uniform belt and shoes I always promise to myself that I will lay out for the following morning but never, ever do. Still, I grabbed something quickly to put on, braided my hair, and announced to my son that it was time to go. He joked with me and asked if I was wearing the same outfit again.

In my defense, I have about seven jean shirts, 10 white t-shirts, and countless black skinny pants (okay, they are leggings). In his defense, he’s heard me make fun of myself. But for some reason, I looked in the mirror and thought how nice it would be if I could fit into my beautiful clothes, hanging perfectly in my closet, just waiting for me to squeeze into them. How amazing would it be if I were the mom who actually did her hair instead of the one minute braid mine usually ends up in.Continue Reading

“The real gift of gratitude
is that the more grateful you become, the more you realize God is present.”

-Ann Voskamp

It was a big day here for my family; after years of talking about it and dreaming about it, we did it.   We bought an older farmhouse style home on land with views of the mountains, our very own stream, and woods and fields for the kids to explore.

And today, the Today Show posted a video where they used my words and images after asking my permission.  My words to video….

Today, our families came to visit our new house and I watched my favorite three boys work on our new house–my husband, my father, and my son all worked together, with the older men showing one young boy how to get things done.Continue Reading